I think one of the most difficult things for me is knowing how to respond to certain things. This one of the reasons I have mixed feelings on trying to find E's blog. I have a pretty good idea about some of the things he might have written about and I know what my response would be to them because they are things we've gone over many times. The problem is I'm starting to get the impression he is hoping that I do find it because he wants me to know some of these things. In my mind it's really a no win situation because I'm not going to feel like I can respond on the blog, plus if he writes about some of the things I expect I've said my piece on them and we haven't gotten anywhere with it. I don't think going through the same discussion on the 'net is going give us a different outcome and I don't want to go into it feeling like I have to defend my side of things yet again.
I love him and I know there are these things that we need to work on but we seem to be stuck on details at this point. Things are this way because of a lot of little decisions we both made and little things we both did. On top of that there are things I can't really compromise on anymore because of my health. No matter how much either of us may want it things can't go back to being exactly how they were and I hate feeling like that is the standard I'm being held to.