Saturday, November 03, 2007
Medicated for your safety. . .more or less
Yes, I admit it, I do the better living through anti-depressants thing and it has made a huge difference for me. I really wasn't sure about starting on them to be honest, not because of some of the press they've received since I've taken a similar drug before, but because of what I'm taking them for. I have dysthymia, which is a long term, low grade depression, and as far as I can determine, I've had it for a very long time so it was very much a part of me and I was afraid of a Stepford Wives-type transformation. That didn't happen, but end the effect seems like a bit of a contradiction. I am on more of an even keel, less likely to freak out, have fewer problems with crowds and much easier to be around in general. At the same time the medication has gotten rid of the permanent grey fog that my dysthymia caused so I'm much more alert, on the ball and likely to say what's on my mind. So, what it means is that I'm still the same sarcastic, blunt, somewhat cynical person, but I'm more cheerful and relaxed about it. I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or not, and I'm definitely not sure if it means I'm safer for the general public or not. I'm less likely to break down over little things but at the same time I'm also much more likely to be really snarky.