Monday, January 30, 2006

Sigh. . .

The birds are doing well, but there are other aspects of this that are a bit frustrating. A had set up her webcam so that E could watch the birds during the day. One of the things he saw was that of the cats, Cleo, was getting on top of the cage and then batting down at the birds. No one was hurt, but it's something we need to sort out. Also, A has been a bit short about how to deal with the birds which is starting to get to me a bit. Yes, I'm a bit sensitive right now because of my period, but there are better ways to instruct someone.

Had lunch with Mom today which was nice, but it's always a bit odd any more. I always feel a bit like an imposter since there are things that my parents think I am or should be that I'm not, but since they just don't accept those things I have to play along when I visit them. I hate having to lie like that, but it's that or have to cut ties with them and they are old enough I don't want to do that. It's really disappointing since they are the ones who taught me to be open minded and then they aren't able to do it themselves.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Bleh. . .

It's been one of those days where I feel like I'm dragging myself through molasses. I know why, I started my period last night and I always spend the first few days of it feeling like someone sucked all the energy out of me.

(No more on that subject for my male readers, if there are any. I'm not even sure if I have any readers at all come to think of it. It's not like I'm writing anything earth-shattering or trying to accomplish anything important, so it wouldn't be surprising if there isn't anyone else reading this. That's OK, I'm writing this because it is easier for me to do than writing in a traditional journal and I'd like to record my odd and disjointed thoughts in some way for myself. I suppose at some point I should talk about something serious like my projects or Asatru or being poly or being Lokean but I just haven't had the urge. And really beyond my projects I don't think I have much to add on those subjects since people who are much better writers than me have already said it a lot better than I can.)

Got a lot done today despite feeling like someone vaccumed all my energy out. Went and made copies for my meeting on Thursday as well as the ones I need to get started on my handout for next Saturday. I also got the portions of the hand out I needed to type done. The last load of laundry is in the washer waiting for the dryer to be free. I'm not sure what to do with the rest of the evening. Maybe work on some jewelry.

The birs did much better today, but they still seem to be very jumpy about new things so we had a couple of escape experiences again. A did some work with each of them this afternoon and they seem to be doing well. I'm still amazed at how quiet they are. My previous bird experience was when I was in junior high with the parakeets that a friend's parents had and they were continually making noise. Up until now I thought all birds were that loud, I now know better. I don't think those parakeets had as much human interaction as they should have either, plus they were in a very small cage.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

They're heeree. . .

The birds have arrived and it has been interesting so far. They were a bit wound up so they are getting quiet time right now. There have been two escapes so far which included cats racing in to investigate. Luckily I was close by for the first one and E was close for the second so all is well so far. I'll probably add to this post a bit later in day once everyone has mellowed out a bit.


It's been interesting. The birds, Citrus and Tina (short for Argentina) are pretty quiet, really not much louder than the rats. Citrus is settling in much better than Tina and we had another escape incident when A tried to put them back in the cage. Citrus went to climb on A's finger, Tina squawked and lunged startling Citrus. Both birds bailed off the play stand. A caught Tina pretty easily, but when E tried to catch Citrus he only managed to give her more lift so she flew into the living room and landed on the floor. I was able to get her but she gave me a good nip in the process. Thankfully the dog was out and I was able to warn the cats off. I think this really is going to be a huge undertaking and I'm really worried about one fo the birds getting hurt.

Friday, January 27, 2006

End of another week

Made to the end of another week. Felt really cruddy today, but I'm not sure if it is due to yesterday or what. I'm hoping a good night's sleep will get rid of it.

The birds will arrive tomorrow so we are in the midst of trying to get stuff clean and set up. I'm still not sure if we're ready for this or not, but I guess we'll find out.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Good to know

I had some dental work done today and found out that the nerves on the right side of my face don't run in the normal area, while the nerves on the left side of my face do. It started with the dental assistant checking and noticing that I wasn't number on the outside edge of my jaw. The dentist came over and gave me a bit more Novocaine and then did some other work in another area. It seemed like that shot worked, so he got to work on drilling. Unfortunately it hadn't, and I suddenly felt a sharp zinging feeling that shot down into my jaw. It wasn't horribly painful, it was like biting on tin foil when you have metal fillings, but I jumped a bit and said 'Ow'. (Actually I said something that sounded more like 'Ouwgh' since I had all of the dental paraphanalia in my mouth.) Thankfully my dentist is very good and he stopped immediate when I reacted, gave me more Novocaine, let it sit and then started again only to discover I still wasn't entirely numb. We replayed this scenario a final time, with him giving me a shot of the strongest level of Novocaine they had. After that took effect I went down to a mild zingy feeling once in a while and I wasn't going to make him stop for that. After it was all done and I got home I realized that I was a bit numb down into my throat which was very strange. Even stranger was the fact that all that Novocain wore off pretty quickly. Not as quickly as it did last month when I got fillings done on the other side, but it was still pretty fast. My teeth are really sensitive right now, though. I'm hoping my bedtime regimen of anti-inflammatories helps with that.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Eh. . .

I'm really wiped out right now. Work has been crazy busy the last two days with all of the work associated with shifting cases around, plus trying to get my regular work done. In addition it was roasting in the office today because the building manager is fiddling with the AC/heating system to try to try to solve some of problems it has with having a consistant temperature. The problem is that it's now consistant, but it's way too hot. I hate heat like that it just sucks the life right out of me and I don't have much to begin with. It didn't help that I wore a light sweater today, I'm definitely wearing a lighter shirt tomorrow.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Shifting. . .

I found out today that they are going to be shifting employer accounts around and by the time I go in tomorrow they should all be shifted. I'm losing one of my larger employers one which has been a huge pain in the ass because of their internal proceedures for reporting injuries. Just about the time I think I get through on how to do things here, then their HR person changes at one of the stores and I'm back where I started with injuries being reported late or not at all. I probably should feel bad about it going to torment someone else, but I'm tired of fighting with it.

Otherwise not much else is going on. I have another ride down to the event, but I haven't really talked with E to see if I need it. We sorta worked things out but didn't get down to the brass tacks. I guess I should ask sometime soon. Of course I also need to work on the handout for the class too. I do have a commission for another bracelet for someone at work, to be given as a gift to another person at work. Luckily I have until April to get it done, but it's a something small that will be easy to make. (I really need to work on more stock for the store too, but that isn't as pressing yet.)

Sunday, January 22, 2006


For once in my life I actually care about a football game. E has said that if the Broncos win the game today and go to the Superbowl he's hosting the Superbowl party again. The problem is that the Superbowl is the day after the event I said I'd teach at, and if we are having the party then E is going to need to stay home and get the house ready. That means I have to find a ride to the event since it's hard for me to drive long distances by myself any more. If I don't I have to back out of teaching. So, here I sit, caring intensely about the outcome of a football game.


They didn't win. I do feel bad for E because he was disappointed about it. He wasn't as upset about the loss as he has in the past which is a good thing. The problem now is that no one else seems really enthusiastic about going to the event. There are times I feel like I just can't win.

(I really can't win apparently. I asked E about it when he called to let me know they were staying a bit later at bowling. He said he really didn't want to go and if he did he'd be bored. I made the plan to do this because he was supportive and it seemed like he'd go with me. Now I'm stuck making him go when he'll be bored, trying to find another ride or backing out. I'm no better off than I was this morning.)

Saturday, January 21, 2006

My exciting weekend

Well, it is now. We went out shopping this afternoon. At our first stop we got the wall cabinet for the kitchen as well as a corner shelf to put in the laundry room and priced the flooring we want to put in the living room/dining room. Next stop was the Mall because A wanted to get her nails redone. While she was doing that E and I wandered around. He bought a new pair of cowboy boots with some of his Christmas money and I stopped by CJ Banks and used the gift card I had gotten to get a new shirt. We also picked up a copy of the Sonic collection for the Xbox since we actually have a bit of money left for the month. The last stop was Petco so A could get more bird stuff since it looks like the birds may be ready to come here next weekend. (I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for that, but there isn't much I can do about it at this point beyond trying to read up as much as I can.) Got home and E got the cabinet up and the little shelf put together, I got started on laundry and A rearranged her area. Now I'm waiting for laundry to be done and posting here, E is playing on the Xbox and A is reading.

It's funny, I've been told by people that they think being poly is interesting and unusual. I think they'd be surprised at how boring and normal it actually is. I mean really, look at the above paragraph, that's a pretty ordinary weekend day for us. Not exciting, not titillating, no orgies, no wild spouse swapping parties just a set of weekend errands and chores. The only difference is that we have a group of three adults doing it rather than a couple.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Mark of the breast?

I don't have much to say tonight. Actually I have a couple bits of rambling that are knocking around in my brain but I can't catch them and get them written out so it won't be a real heavy duty entry for tonight.

It was a short but crazy week at work. They are looking at restructuring things and shifting cases around. It means I may end up losing some of my strung out cases, which isn't a bad thing, although it means someone else will end up with some weird things I let go a bit too long. I won't lose my worst case, but that's OK, I rather like being a thorn in their side. (Taking pleasure in the wrong aspect of my job I suppose, but for as much grief as they've given me it seems a bit like taking something back for myself.) One of the problems they've run into is that I would lose nearly a third of my case load if they restructure the way they originally planned to, so it's still a bit up in the air.

Still haven't come up with any ideas for the decoration for the book satchel so I think I'm going to have to decide the size and then see what I can find in my books. Luckily I have until the first of April which helps a bit, but I'll still need to get my documentation written up. I'm hoping to get the majority of the pieces for the back side of the quilt cut out this weekend so I can start sewing. I think the sewing will be much easier on me and my joints than the cutting has been. The only other plan for the weekend is to get another cabinet for the kitchen so we can clean up some of the clutter. E has also talked about rearranging the living room and I'd like to get started on that too, but I think that's because part of the plan is to get me a corner computer desk which will give me more space.

Gods, just misread 'mark of the beast' as 'mark of the breast' and was trying to figure out exactly how that worked. I think that's a sign I better give up and go to bed. I'll try to post something more coherent tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I can breathe!

No really, I can for a change. It's not really my bad allergy season right now, but with the dry winter air and the wind and all the bugs going around I end up being sniffly and congested a lot of the time during the winter. (Well to be honest it's a lot of the time in general because during the rest of the year my allergies are in full swing.) This also means I'm prone to get sinus infections as well. I was digging around on WebMD last week and discovered their blog section which includes blogs by doctors on different topics. One of them is on allergies and asthma and in it the doctor discusses using Sinus Rinse. I figured it was worth a try so I picked up a Sinus Rinse Kit at Walgreens after work today and tried it. It's a weird sensation to have a warm saline solution washing through my nose, but now that it's all done I feel fantastic. My nose is clear, it feels less irritated and I know when I use my steroid nasal spray before bed it will actually get to where it's supposed to go.

I never imagined such a simple little thing would make me feel so great.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Busy day off

Got a lot more stuff done today. E and I finished getting the Christmas stuff boxed up and actually put back in the basement, did some badly needed cleaning in the living room, ran the dishwasher, did some laundry and discussed some ideas for rearranging the living room. It felt really good to get some much done, and it made me wonder why I end up doing so little on the weekends.

I also got started on the rag quilt and suffered a 'what was I thinking' moment. E had helped me measure the quilt we currently have on the bed and I figured out the number of squares I'd need if I was using 12 inch squares. I then proceeded to cut the first fabric into 11 inch squares. I regrouped, adusted the final size a bit and figured out the new number of squares, which was 132. Halfway through cutting the fabric it hit me, that's 132 squares per side, and I realized how big of a project it will be. I'm going to get the first half of the squares cut tonight and then try to finish the cutting later in the week. At least I'm hoping I will finish doing that, I was using a rotary cutter and my right wrist is currently pretty sore. I may have to ice it down before bed.

No huge flashes of inspiration on the satchel yet, which has me a bit worried. I'm afraid the medication for my dysthymia may be interfering with my creative process. I suppose I should give it a bit more time and see what happens, but I need to be prepared to hammer it out otherwise.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

The end of the weekend

I meant to post last night before bed but I ended up having an email exchange that left me pretty testy so I thought I'd wait until I was in a better frame of mind to post here. (I should've thought to do that last night too, but it's a bit late for that now. Thankfully the other people that got copied on the emails are on my side and one called this morning to let me know she didn't think that I had overreacted. )

Beyond that little incident it's been a good weekend, though. I didn't end up going down to the aviary with A. We talked it over and she understood my side completely, because she said she'd rather be staying home and sleeping in herself. She also had someone come up to visit so I unexpectedly had the the house to myself Saturday evening since E had gone out of town to a concert. So not only did I get to sleep in, I got a lot of things done, had a good amount of alone time and got a new pair of shoes. (Merrell Jungle slides in smooth black leather. I highly recommend them, very comfortable and nice looking enough that I can wear them to work.) The best part of all of it is that tomorrow is a holiday for us so I get an extra day to sleep in. A silly thing to be excited about to some people, but it's important to me because extra rest helps the inflammation go down in my hands and feet. It's been a bad week for me, to the point that when I was trying on shoes they were tight on my right foot which is the smaller, so it's really going to help me out.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Trade offs

Another bad joint day so still no work on any projects. I did get the metal shelf organizer I had ordered so I did reorganize part of the cabinet where I keep the dyes, paints, and finishes for my leatherwork so the evening wasn't a complete loss.

I'm also stuck with a dilemma. A is getting two Senegal parrots and is going down to the aviary this Saturday for their parrot care class and has asked if I want to go. I'd like to, because I will need to know how to care for the parrots as well, but the class is at 9 am and we'd have to leave the house at around 7:30 am to get there, which means I wouldn't be able to sleep in. Now, this may seem a bit trivial, but it really isn't for me because of the fatigue that has come with my RA. I use the weekends to sleep in and recover from not getting quite enough sleep and having to push through the fatigue for work during the week. Losing some of that means next week will be much harder for me. I do have Monday off which means I have that day to make up for missing the extra sleep on Saturday, but it would be nice to have the extra day of sleeping in. I hate the fact that my life is now filled with this sort of equation, I have to weigh every little thing, look at the price I could end up paying and decide if it's worth it. One of the best ways I've found to describe the feeling is the essay on the spoon theory that can be found at:
Now, I don't have to make quite as many choices as the author describes on that page, or even the same type of choices, but I do have to sit back and assess where things stand every day and decide what I can and can't do. I can get myself through work and do my job, but I'm not up to doing much in the evening and by Friday night I'm worthless. If we do something that requires an early start on a Saturday, I know I'm going to pay for it over the next week. If I want to do a large cleaning project on the weekend I either have to do it first thing so I have my maximum level of energy or break it down into smaller chores that I can spread out. I have to pay attention so I can notice when I start to tire out or hurt too much so I can take a break. I miss being able to just do what I wanted when I wanted to. It's such a simple thing, but I'd give almost anything to have that back.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

And be careful not to trip

It's a bad joint day so no real work on anything today. I think this is one of the most frustrating aspects of this disease, I never know when I'm going to have problems and they can appear out of nowhere. I've learned that if my ankles are bad when I get up and don't loosen up then it's usually a sign that things are going to be bad. It's not an absolute though, so all I can really do is limp along and see how things go.

So instead of working on any of my projects, I'm watching Mythbusters, writing here and doing some shopping for materials for the business. Oh, and I stumbled on a bracelet I really want at the same time. (I could probably figure out a way to make it myself, but it would take a bit to get the materials, and I'd have to get more than I would need for the one bracelet which means I'd end up with silver beads I might never use.) I'll have to see how money shakes out I guess.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

The first step is a doozy

I tried to work out the details on the medival Irish book satchel reproduction tonight and I've run into a couple of road blocks. The first was the realization that I'm not really sure what design to tool onto it. The next was that I'm not sure how many logical leaps I'm going to take on it. I have three examples, which gives me three different sizes, three different tooled designs, and three different methods of construction, so I already have some leeway, but I need to decide how much I'm going to push it. Is it logical to assume that there would have been satchels with no decoration? The three existant examples were sewn so that the raw edges of the leather are turned inside the bag, could they have been sewn so the raw edges are out? And so on, until I have my brain all wrapped up in these sort of questions and details. After a while like that it will all unwrap and unravel and I'll end up with a plan. The only problem is that I never know when it will unwind and reform so I have to plan ahead on large projects especially if it's the first time I'm trying to make a particular thing. Is this the way the creative process works for other people? I always end up feeling like I shove my brain full of stuff, spin it around and see what comes flying out then run with it. It's not a very elegant method and I feel sure that other people have to have a more elegant way of doing it.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Plowing ahead

I'm trying to get myself back on track right now. I lost a year to fatigue and waiting for a diagnosis and I'd like to try to get back to doing some of the things I used to do. I know it isn't possible to go all the way back because the joint pain and fatigue will be constant companions from now on, but I would like to get back to working on my projects. Of course, I can't start with anything small, or just one project, so I have gotten the materials to make the medieval Irish book satchel that I've been researching and also the materials to make a modified rag quilt. The satchel has a deadline, I am going to get it done by the end of March so I can enter it in Kingdom Arts and Sciences the next month, so I will get it done. The quilt doesn't, so it should be interesting to see how far I get on it. I guess if I can get the quilt done by this fall I'll be in good shape. After that I have a list of other things I need to get done plus making things for the business, even though I've got quite a few pieces done and A is behind on pricing and listing items.

I'm starting to think I can't die, I've got too much to get done.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Ribbons and conchos and rhinestone rivets, oh my!

Yesterday we made a trip to do some shopping and a bit of gambling. One of our stops was by Tandy Leather so I could pick up tooling leather for my next project and buckles. When we got back in the car I discovered I had gotten a bundle of samples in my bag. I'm guessing it's all new products they want to promote, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do with any of it. So I now have a little kit to make a support ribbon keychain, complete with list of common "support colors" (not sure what I'm going to do with that at all since there isn't a color for dysthymia or RA and I'm already acutely aware of them, thanks very much), two eagle head conchos, a package of rhinestone rivets, a craftaid on how to lay out the rhinestone rivets and a bottle of two in one leather stain and finish. The stain and finish I'll probably use eventually, the kit I guess I'll keep in case someone asks me to make something like that, and the rest I have no idea what I'll do with any of it. It'll all end up in the odds and ends basket and in a few years I'll look at it and wonder what the hell it's doing there.

The gambling was fun. I'm really glad E has gotten me into playing video poker since I still ended up losing the money I'd taken, but it took me a lot longer to do it. There is a down side though, it took a lot longer so we left a lot later than we had planned to.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Er, hello

I really hate introductions because I'm never sure quite what to say. It isn't a place for a long winded description of your life, because you don't want to bore people right off the bat, but you don't want to say so little that you don't leave any impression at all. It's just an awkward situation all the way around.

At any rate, this is my blog. I'm still not sure what is will turn into or if I'll even manage to keep up with making frequent entries. I just thought it might be nice to have a place to throw some of the things that rattle around in my head, even if it just means the rest of the world ends up wondering what the heck is going on in there too.